You may blame the paper cup or the sip lid but the truth is, when you spill a drop of coffee on your shirt there’s no one to blame but yourself.

Once you have made peace with the fact coffee stains are a part of life you can stop looking for someone to blame and begin to move on.

Don’t think we don’t have sympathy for anyone dealing with the tragedy of a coffee stain, because we do.

Bucket-fulls of sympathy.

Here at Perk, we know that stain removal is a tricky business and we also know only too well how embarrassing a stain can be. As a way of offering support to all you coffee stained individuals out there, we have put together a few handy tips on how to hide that splatter on your shirt which will hopefully enable you to hold your head high for the rest of the day.

  1. Introducing the stain:

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Cue tutting and eye-rolling. You have probably seen worse stains, but it’s proudly positioned itself in such a way that it demands attention. It wants the lime light and is going to make sure everyone you meet sees it. Some people  wouldn’t be bothered by this little dribble and could carry on about their day as normal. However, If the thought of having to cope with all those judgemental eyes staring at your chest region fills you with dread, read on…

2. Reposition your tie

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Repositioning your tie is only really an option if you are planning on lying on the floor and not moving around much. As soon as you move your dirty secret will be revealed as in photo b)

3. Wear a name badge

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If you don’t have a name badge; improvise. We used our business card. Unfortunately our stain was too big for the card to hide it horizontally so we had to wear it vertically which elicited a few funny looks from colleagues.

4. Accessorise

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Nip outside to the nearest hanging basket and pin on a few blooms… voila. Try to avoid dandelions but they would still work if absolutely necessary. If anyone questions your choice of foliage just laugh uncontrollably and walk backwards away from them until they are out of sight.

5. Hold a clipboard to your chest

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This works but you have to keep it there all day. ALL DAY. Depending on the tasks you are expected to perform at work, this could be impractical in some circumstances. We will let you be the judge of that.

6. Splatter on more coffee and pretend it’s a pattern

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If anyone asks tell them it’s a designer shirt, made with designer fabric, printed with a designer splat pattern by an actual-real-not-made-up-designer.

7. Throw white wine on it

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Oh hang on a minute. That doesn’t work with coffee… Ah. Sorry. That could possibly have made the situation worse.

8. Drench it

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Immerse your entire self in water and claim you have just done the ice bucket challenge. It might not get rid of the coffee or wine stains but it would detract attention from the problem which at this stage is probably the best you can hope for.